Passing the Torch from Generation to Generation

Gary Cooperberg
January 25, 2005

As the week of mourning came to an end, I found myself bereft of two parents who only six months ago seemed so very much alive. There are events in life which cause us to pause and recognize the passing of time. Weddings and births are clearly such milestones in life, but we usually choose not to think about funerals. Death is something which frightens and saddens us, yet it is as natural and normal as birth. Of course premature death is certainly a tragedy, but to die after having lived a long and productive life should be an event to celebrate.

My parents chose to leave the USA and came to live in Israel twenty seven years ago. Both were under the age of sixty at the time. It was an unusual decision which most of their friends and neighbors could not understand. Deep in their hearts they knew that only in the Jewish State could their lives be complete. They celebrated Israel every day that they lived here. And they were an inspiration to us, as we followed their example about four years later.

My mother succumbed to lung cancer and died in her sleep on the day preceding the holiday of succot. As such the traditional seven day mourning period was cancelled owing to the commandment to rejoice. As long as my father was alive, it felt as if my mother was still with us. Then, less than four months later, my father passed away at home in his sleep early on Friday morning. Again, the most bitter time of mourning was taken from me as we immediately entered Shabbat where mourning is forbidden. The following week enabled me to properly mourn both my parents and to more fully accept the difficult change in our lives. The past four months with my father were well spent. He explained to me that, although he felt that he had a full life and was completely ready to be with my mother, he had no intention of hurrying the process. He was very sick and knew that there wasn't much time left for him. It was a carefully weighed decision which saw him reject the warnings of his doctors and opt to have a minor operation which offered him a slim hope to alleviate his breathing problems. Were the operation to succeed, he would hopefully have had the strength to visit his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Were it to fail, he would be with his beloved wife. To him it was a win win situation and he eagerly anticipated it, no matter what the outcome.

His faith in G-d and courage to take such a difficult decision brought him the reward of the avoidance of suffering in the hospital. He died peacefully and serenely at home in his bed before he could have the operation. A man of faith until the very end my father always told me that he felt that G-d was with him through every step of his life. Clearly this continued even with his death.

Now, as I recite the mourners' kaddish during the daily prayers over the coming year, both my parents will be with me. I can only pray that their memory and example will give me the strength to continue on the path that they tread. Both my parents were very worried about the increase in antisemitism all over the world and were very pleased with my efforts with Project Shofar to encourage aliyah. With G-d's help I will continue to travel around the USA and other places in the world to sound the alarm to my fellow Jews.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of my friends and faithful supporters for expressing your faith in the goals of Project Shofar by your regular contributions and words of encouragement. I also wish to thank the many people who sent me messages of comfort at this difficult time. G-d bless all of you.